Last night was one of the worst nights of sleeplessness I've had since we brought Ellie home from the hospital. She was up almost every hour and would not go back to sleep in her crib for more than 15-30 minutes at a time. I finally gave up on getting her back down on her own and we slept for awhile together on the futon in the nursery.
I got up all but one of the times with Ellie last night because Brian was totally worn out from helping some friends move last night and was due at the gym early today. So now I'm feeling like a total zombie today.
A friend pointed out to me yesterday that most of my post-baby blogging has been very happy, gooey and upbeat. And to be honest, it's hard for me to be down when I sit and write about beautiful, wonderful Ellie.
At the same time, I'll admit this parenting thing is about the hardest thing I've ever done. Sometimes I feel like a bad mother if I complain about being tired or frustrated from all of my time with Ellie. I know I'm lucky to be home with her and need to cherish this early time together. But having someone rely on you 24/7 for absolutely every need is exhausting! The toughest parts for me so far are the times when I just can't figure out what Ellie is fussing about. In the past few days there have been many times when she will cry for seemingly no reason. She's fed, changed, burped and snuggled... but still being fussy. She is a mystery sometimes.
Now I'm going to try to nap with her for a little bit. I'll dream of getting a nice, long three or four hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep tonight. We'll see if she is dreaming of letting me.
No comments:
Post a Comment