From the start...

Even though we didn't make the pregnancy news public until a few days ago, I kept some notes from the past five weeks to share and preserve the earliest pregnancy memories. I didn't start the blog until week 13 of my pregnancy with Ellie, so I wanted to get some of the early notes written down this time to look back on later.
It's Week 11 now and our baby is the size of a fig. Growing up a storm, as am I!

June 6 — Positive test! I had my suspicions... but there's nothing like seeing those two lines on the stick to really drive the point home. I smiled and cried. Brian smiled and hugged. We're so excited, and just a little bit terrified, to be launching on this whole journey again!

June 10 — I put on my casual Friday jeans for work this morning and got an unpleasant surprise... They felt snug. I'm not even in week 6 yet and this is already happening? The number on the scale is still the same, but my hips have hurt all week. So I can only assume the "transition" into pregnancy wide-load structure is already beginning in my body. But I am vowing to avoid my hang-up on weight and size as much as possible this pregnancy. That's right, it's a vow. I'm also going to try to be healthy in eating and exercising the whole darn time... but the anxiety I had last time around with weight gain and pants size is senseless. Pregnant women must gain weight and wear bigger clothes and waddle at some point. I'll get my body back at some point. And that's a promise, too.

June 18 — This week I remembered some of the other "joys" of early pregnancy... raging hormones, acne, nausea and utter exhaustion. I actually took a short nap one afternoon, which forced me to finish my newspaper work later in the evening, but I honestly couldn't keep my eyes open. At least in this second pregnancy I know that things can and should get better as things progress. There's that joyous second trimester looming on the horizon (well, still a ways off, but I can still look forward to it!). At that point I should feel more comfortable and also get to start feeling the baby kick and move. I loved that part when I was carrying Ellie! So, I'm trying to focus on the positive. This pregnancy stuff is so worth it in the end!

July 1 — If I thought I was exhausted a few weeks back... I was mistaken. This week was all about feeling weak on my feet, lightheaded and totally sluggish. I also was hit hard by food aversions. I remember from the last pregnancy, too, that I seem to get turned off by foods more than having weird cravings. This past week I was off pretty much all meat, most vegetables and other random items. The thought of broccoli or cauliflower literally turns my stomach. I also can't bear the thought of any beans, which is insane since I have made these a major staple in my diet over the past year.
I am loving dairy right now — ice cream, milk, cheese... bring it on! And I'm doing OK with many fruits, which I'm glad to have for helping balance out my otherwise carbo-loaded diet. One of the weirder cravings I have had: I only want to eat an apple if I can get some carmel sauce (which I haven't actually purchased yet... but it sounds so good!)
I guess I'm eating enough, though, because some of my pants are getting uncomfortable. I'm definitely noticing some belly-roundness here in week 8. But I laugh looking back at old posts and remembering how "huge" I thought I was early in my first pregnancy... when I actually had no idea what was yet to come in months 8 and 9!

July 2 — OK, so maybe I'm getting some cravings. I heard a co-worked mention the words "Taco Bell" yesterday, and I almost left the office right then to go get some nachos. However, Brian reminded me when I started begging to go to dinner there that I'm always disappointed by whatever I order there. So I was able to sideline my desire for cheesy, nacho-y goodness until today after a trip to the grocery store for supplies. My oven baked nachos with fresh cheddar, salsa, refried beans (which I was able to sneak in somehow), avocado and sour cream were awesome! And probably a bit healthier for me... although it's still nachos. But I went for a 4 mile run this morning and I'm letting myself (for the most part) eat what I need to to get through this yucky first trimester.

July 4 — Worst. July 4th. Ever. I was SO sick all day and had to spend much of it in bed. Luckily Brian and Ellie took good care of me. I was feeling a bit better by the evening, which was just in time for the neighbors on all sides to start shooting off rockets and totally freak Ellie out. None of us got much sleep, which didn't help matters.

July 12 — I've been feeling a little bit better/less sick every day this past week. More foods (and even some vegetables!) are sounding good. It's encouraging. I'm still battling the exhaustion. No amount of sleep is enough and it's absolutely brutal getting out of bed at 5 a.m. each weekday for work. I'm basically living for the weekends, when even sleeping in until 7 feels like Christmas. On a less-complaining note... sorry... I'm super excited to go to my first doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon. Even though we couldn't hear the heartbeat at the first visit with Ellie, I'm still hopefully the doctor will pick something up on the monitor. Most importantly, though, I just want her reassurance that everything looks good!

July 13 — Doctor's appointment went great. Dr. George is so reassuring and fun. We didn't get to hear the heartbeat, despite lots of prodding :( But that's OK. I'm sure we'll catch up with him/her at the next appointment in August. Still great to get some official affirmation from doc!