Thank you, vacuum cleaner

As Dorothy has mentioned in previous posts, Ellie is a bit colicky. And when we say a bit, there are two hours each night in which I want to pull my hair out and throw myself off a cliff.
I love Ellie so much that hearing her cry, and knowing there's little to nothing I can do to stop it, just about drives me mad. And I'm not a person known for my patience anyway, so this is doubly frustrating.
A few nights ago, we found out that baths calm her during this period form 8-10 p.m. But we can't keep her 75 percent submerged in water for two hours. I'm pretty sure she's still developing, and I don't want a fish girl for a daughter. The ability to breathe under water would be cool, but I'd be weirded out by the scales.
The next night we found out that Ellie is soothed by the vacuum cleaner. It's like turning on a freaking light switch. In fact, I played with it a bit. It only takes 2 seconds for Ellie to scream once the vacuum is turned off. Less to get her to stop when it's turned on. Unbelievable.
Last night we had the vacuum on for about 20 minutes (and the television to volume setting 54) when we realized that sooner or later the motor would burn out. We needed another option.
With fingers crossed, I turned on the radio to an unoccupied frequency with white noise that, coincidentally, sounded like it had a heartbeat in the background - equal parts of creepy and awesome for us. Then we turned off the vacuum.
Ellie's head perked up for a second, as if to evaluate this substitute noise. But she put her head back down, satisfied that this otherwise annoying sound would do. We were able to save the vacuum, our sanity and lower the television volume to around 46.
All that said, we're feeling much better. Oh, and just in case it's driving them nuts, a quick apology to our neighbors. Sorry, Ben and Janet.