My ugly side

Truth be told, I've had a rough couple days.
Everything is fine with the baby, but I had a mini-breakdown or two over the weekend.
I think the weight (both literally and figuratively) of the pregnancy has been catching up with me. And when I look at what I've become these days it's hard to reconcile it with my normal self.

I'm complaining — a lot — and mostly to Brian. I hope this isn't the normal me. But these days I'm constantly updating him on my feet hurting, my back hurting, my belly stretching, my lack of sleep and my umpteenth trip to the bathroom. The icing on the cake was when I developed a rash around my ankles a couple weeks ago. I thought it was poison ivy initially, but now I'm wondering if it's some sort of heat rash or allergic reaction. It flares up a couple times each day and I get bumps that look like hives up one of my calves or on the tops of my feet. Don't know what it is, but there's not enough hydrocortisone in the world. My doc said to take Benadryl when it flares up, but I can't be in a coma for work. Anyhow, it's not fun.... and so Brian gets to hear all about it.
And while I feel bad about hurling all my negativity toward Brian, he's my best outlet for talking about how I really feel. People ask me every day how I'm feeling and I usually paint a rosy picture. I don't think they want the real answer :)

The other main problem I'm having is dealing with my new limitations. I feel like there are so many things I can't do right now.
I can't help with things the way I want to in the bathroom remodeling project. I can't help mow the lawn. I have a hard time carrying the full laundry basket upstairs. I can't go running (at least not far). I can't pack as much into a day as I used to. I can't even sit comfortably to watch a whole movie. Arrggghh!
What do I do? Complain about it to Brian, of course.
I guess I'm a bit of a control freak. And I'm also used to being proactive. When I want something done, I generally just do it. But these days if I want something done I usually have to ask Brian to do it. He's trying, but his to-do list isn't getting any shorter.

Sometimes I just feel like I've lost so much of myself as I've become a baby incubator. I know it will be worth it in the end, but the "getting there" feels really hard.