While I've had lots of weird dreams during the pregnancy, last night I had a dream that really unnerved me.
In my dream I was out with friends and drinking heavily. I clearly knew I was pregnant, because I passed on a Jack and coke drink at one point because I wasn't supposed to be drinking caffeine... how responsible.
I woke up feeling like the worst mother ever, even though I haven't technically screwed up yet! I'm guessing this dream just means I'm stressed and nervous about parenthood.
In our car-ride time this past weekend (traveling to and from Rockford for a work weekend) I talked to Brian about some nerves I'm having. It's not only the daunting task of having someone depend on me 24/7 that worries me. I'm also a little sad to feel like Brian and I are leaving behind our "us" time forever — or at least for many years.
But when I think of how much fun we're going to have as a family, I don't stay down for long. Yes, we're going to have a totally different lifestyle. Trips to wineries will be replaced by trips to the park, children's museum or zoo. Those plans excite me, too!
But as the due date inches closer, the realities of becoming a mom are settling in. And I just wonder sometimes if I'm up for the job.
For now, I'm just hoping for some calmer dreams the next few nights... maybe about something more relaxing like bathroom remodeling or work deadlines. ;)
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