Working mom

I've run through just about the whole spectrum of emotions over the past few days as I made my return to work. In the days leading up to it, I built it up a whole bunch. I was so sad, nervous and frustrated. But in a weird way I suppose it was good that I did that because by the time I actually had to go into the office Monday morning, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm sure my boss would be thrilled to read that. But at least I'm sure he was glad I spared him the waterworks. Somehow I made it through all of Monday without crying... of course I then felt guilty and like a bad mom because of that, so I'm not sure I can win.

Seriously though, I assumed through most of my pregnancy that I would be more than ready to return to work after my maternity leave was over. I enjoy being a reporter and never pictured staying at home. But I didn't realize how addicting it would be to stay at home with Ellie for those couple months. In my ideal world, I would stay at home with Ellie, still get paid my full-time salary, and write articles when I had time and felt like it... is that unrealistic?

Being back at work is going as well as I can expect for now. I may have more on the subject by the end of the week. But for now I'm trying to get rid of the pit in my stomach when I think about Ellie and realize she's not right in front of me to hold. I miss her tons during my days, but am glad to have some fun time with her at night.

One of her most favorite activities in the world is taking a bath. She had a little too much fun the other night, though. I got her into the warm baby tub and she promptly peed. I saw the yellow water and looked up to see a big smile on her face. I couldn't help but laugh... and call for Brian to bring the camera. What a stinker!